Faking it

Artificial Intelligence is ruining our lives. Everywhere you turn, someone is talking about it. Here’s a warning: don’t use the words in full, only the initials, AI, if you want to sound in tune with the times.
The dictionary definition of AI is the ability of a machine to perform tasks usually carried out by humans such as learning, reasoning and problem-solving. I guess that means AI is of no help with other more mundane human tasks such as singing in the shower or making a BLT.
AI now has so many enthusiasts that conference organizers have gotten into the act. I recently saw an advertisement about a conflab later this month entitled: Finding the ROI in AI. If you don’t want to look stupid, you can attend virtually. Here’s a typical line from the ad: “What roadmap are early adopters using to avoid the pitfalls and tap into AI’s upside?”
Doesn’t. That. Sound. Exciting. The blurb atop the ad doesn’t say what ROI is. (It’s return on investment.) There, I’ve saved you a full day of tedium. Beyond gatherings, other AI services will help plan your holiday trip. But be prepared for some mistakes like sending you to a Broadway matinee that doesn’t exist.
University professors were among the first to face AI. From their point of view, a student using AI to write an essay is the equivalent of asking help from a not very bright friend. Essays produced using ChatGPT, the most popular AI search engine, give themselves away because they cite fabricated articles or book titles. If the prof asks for sources and the student can’t produce them, such falsification receives a mark of zero on that essay. A second offence likely means failure in that course.
My worst fear is by now probably obvious. What if my role as your favorite blogger and as a bi-weekly contributor to the Saturday Toronto Star was taken over by some infernal machine. My only protection is the drivel you might read by a novice AI machine opining about the new Liberal leader Cark Marney. And could AI properly spell Pierre Poilievre? I always have to look it up myself and then type the name carefully. Otherwise he might show up on my doorstep with that axe he carries everywhere. But didn’t I read that someone recently took that tool away? Or maybe that was just another erroneous outburst by AI.